


When I First Saw You

by musicofthenight



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Closeted Alec Lightwood, I love these two idiots with all my soul, If in doubt, M/M, One Shot, Some angst, Two Soft Bois In Love, blame it on the seelie queen, but eventually pretty fluffy, consciousness swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 19:34:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19026499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicofthenight/pseuds/musicofthenight
Summary: All it takes is one nasty little spell, and suddenly present-day Alec is waking up in the life of his seventeen-year-old self. Meanwhile, the closeted Alec of so many years ago wakes up in the present, in bed with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.





	When I First Saw You

Alec yawned as he rolled over, blinking blearing against the light filtering through the curtains. He reached out blindly to locate Magnus under the covers, then frowned when he found neither the warm skin of his love, nor that tell-tale dip in the bed to indicate that Magnus had gotten up without waking him.

“Magnus?” Alec mumbled, then opened his eyes properly. Oh. He was in his room at the institute. That was weird – he was certain he’d been at Magnus’ when he’d fallen asleep. He sat up, looking around for a note or something (“ _sorry I levitated you here in your sleep, you were snoring too loudly and scaring the cat”)_ in Magnus’ loopy script. But no, there was no note. No clues whatsoever as to how he’d gotten here. Huh.

He got out of bed, mentally running over the previous day’s events in his head. But no, he was certain – after his meeting in the Seelie Court, he had gone back to Magnus’ loft to spend the night there. Alec grabbed his phone off the nightstand to send Magnus a text, and that’s when he started to get really worried.

Magnus Bane was no longer listed in his contacts.

Alex frowned, biting his lip as he scrolled through his most recent messages. There was nothing from Magnus whatsoever. No trace that they knew each other at all.

Alex dressed in a hurry and rushed out of room, taking long, quick strides through the institute. He ignored people’s stares, brushing off their greetings in his haste. He had almost made it to the exit when he bumped into Izzy, who looked… _off_ , somehow, but he couldn’t quite place why.

“Izzy, thank the angel,” he said, running a hand through his hair as he looked at her. She narrowed her eyes at him, obviously reading the stress and confusion on his face.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” she asked immediately, looking at him with an intense gaze.

“It’s Magnus,” Alec said, his voice tense. “I’m worried something’s happened to him. I don’t know. Something’s wrong, I can feel it.”

“Magnus?” Izzy asked, and Alec felt irritation swell within him. She sounded bemused, maybe a tad concerned, but nowhere near his level of urgency. It was unlike her – Izzy was always ready to drop everything and help when Alec needed her, and if something was up with Magnus, then Alec needed her more than ever right now.

Before he could voice his frustration, Izzy said, “Who’s Magnus?”

And Alec felt his stomach drop.

 

* * *

 

He was gasping for breath by the time he made it to Magnus’ floor and started to hammer, hard, on the front door. He was just sucking in a breath to start yelling Magnus’ name when the door swung open in front of him and he fell slightly inside. Toned arms reached out to steady him, and Alec looked up, closing his eyes and sending a silent prayer of thanks to the angel because Magnus was _here,_ Magnus was _safe._

“Magnus,” he breathed in relief, moving forwards to hug his boyfriend tightly. But Magnus danced away, his steps light on the entryway floor. Alec frowned, backing up, holding his hands up and looking into Magnus’ face with confusion. Magnus’s glamoured eyes were looking at him oddly, his eyebrows were raised even as a slight smirk graced his lips.

“My, my, shadowhunter,” Magnus said, and something clenched even tighter in Alec’s chest at the lack of familiarity in his voice. “Whatever have I done to receive such a passionate greeting?” Magnus frowned, tilting his head to appraise Alec. “Were you one of my one-night stands? I feel certain that I would have remembered those lips.” Magnus’ tone turned playful as his gaze flicked down to stare appreciatively at Alec’s mouth. “They’re positively sinful,” he murmured, as though to himself.

Alec could feel a lump coming to his throat and cursed inwardly as he felt his lips tremble a little.

“I – Magnus, I’m – Oh, by the angel.” He staggered back into the wall and put his head in his hands, trying to focus on his erratic breathing. Magnus didn’t know who he was. Izzy didn’t know who Magnus was. Was he losing his mind? Was this a nightmare? Please, oh please let this just be a terrible, terrible nightmare, and let him wake up soon with Magnus’ arms wrapped around him, and-

He heard a noise of concern from somewhere in front of him, and then felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Easy, there,” Magnus said, and Alec raised his teary, panicked eyes to meet his. Magnus looked at him sympathetically, then swirled his fingers and sent a little spark of blue magic into Alec’s chest. Alec’s breaths suddenly felt easier, his thoughts clearer.

He straightened up, breathing out slowly.

“Thanks,” he said, for the first time noticing that Magnus’ hair wasn’t quite right. He changed his style all the time anyway, so Alec hadn’t twigged the change on first glance, but he hadn’t worn it that short for a few years, come to think of it-

Alec was brought out of his train of his train of thought by the suddenly very intense way that Magnus was looking at him. Alec watched as Magnus’ gaze dipped back down to look at his own fingers in confusion.

“What is it?” Alec said, suddenly hopeful. “Do you know me? Do you remember?”

“No,” said Magnus, slowly. He lifted his face to look into Alec’s eyes once more. “But my magic does. The way it reacts to you…We are obviously…” He trailed off, casting around the room for inspiration.

“Important to each other,” Alec finished quietly. Magnus looked focused, and not all that pleased, a look Alec had often seen on his face when he was grappling with a particularly nasty demon or tricky spell.

“Indeed,” Magnus hummed, then turned and walked towards the kitchen. “I suppose you’d better catch me up…?”

Alec heard the question in Magnus’ tone, but it took him a moment to work out what it meant. And then he realised, and he felt his heart break a little more.

“Alec,” he said sadly. “My name is Alec.”

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus was wrenched from sleep by Alec’s panicked voice next to him whispering “what the _fuck”_ over and over again. He sat up suddenly, eyes darting around the room for any hidden threats or attackers, then whipping his head around to look at Alec when he found none. Alec had the sheets pulled up around his bare chest as high as they would go and was staring at Magnus with a look Magnus wasn’t used to seeing in those beautiful eyes.

He realised with a sensation of utter dread that it was fear.

“Alec?” he asked as gently as he could, trying not to let his own panic weave into his voice, “are you alright?”

Alec moved away so suddenly that he got tangled in the golden sheets and promptly landed on the floor. Magnus slipped out of the other side of the bed and approached Alec with caution. He was planning on extending a hand to help Alec up, but when he saw the look on Alec’s face, he faltered and backed away.

“Darling – “ Magnus started, and suddenly Alec looked furious. He extracted himself from the bed linen, and stood up. He might have succeeded in looking imposing had he been wearing more than his boxers.

“Listen,” Alec snarled, and Magnus took another step back instinctively at the venom in his tone. “I don’t know who you are, or how you got me here, but this _will_ be reported to the Clave – you can’t just abduct a shadowhunter, and, and-“

But Magnus had lost the ability to follow Alec’s words.

“You don’t know who I am,” Magnus repeated dumbly, feeling like all the light had been taken out of his world.

“I- should I?” Alec asked, some of the confusion bleeding into his expression now, matching the slightly crazed look of desperation. “I don’t remember anything. I was at the institute. Which is where I need to go. Right now.”

Magnus’s mouth was moving but he couldn’t manage to form any words. Alec turned and grabbed his stele from the bedside table. Magnus’ brain was whirring. He knew he should be saying something, probing with his magic to find out the source of whatever this was, but he hadn’t seen Alec treat him like that for so long. It was heart-breaking, and too much, and seeing that expression on Alec’s face seemed to have robbed him of the ability to think clearly.

“Where are my clothes?” Alec demanded. Magnus pointed numbly at Alec’s side of the chest of drawers. Alec frowned, yanking it open.

“What – there’s like, half my wardrobe in here,” he muttered, as if to himself. “Why would – “

“Alexander,” Magnus managed, finally, his voice trembling. “That’s your drawer. You sleep here almost every night. I’m your – I’m your boyfriend.”

Alec froze. They stared at each other for a long moment, then Alec sucked in a breath, grabbing a pair of jeans from the drawer and pulling them on roughly.

“That’s a lie,” he said, but there was a flicker of something new in his voice. “I don’t know why you’re playing these mind games on me, but I’m not – I don’t go that way.”

“Your full name is Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” Magnus began, moving closer now, hands raised to show he meant no harm. “Your siblings are Izzy and Max, and you love them more than anything. Jace is your parabatai – “

“Anyone could know that,” Alec bit out, wrenching a t shirt over his head.

“ – although you had feelings for him for a long time,” Magnus pressed on, and Alec’s eyes widened.

“How – “

“Until you met me,” Magnus’ voice was rising with his desperation now, “and I fell for you the moment I met you, and I crashed your wedding to Lydia Branwell, and you kissed me in front of everyone, including your parents, who-“

“Stop! Stop!” Alec shouted, stumbling backwards into the wall and pressing his hands over his ears. His breathing was ragged, his eyes wide. Magnus felt his lip start to tremble, and he hated himself for it. He sank down slowly to sit on the edge of the bed, a feeling of heavy sadness filling the space behind his ribs. He focused on his breathing for a moment and could see Alec doing the same out of the corner of his eye.

Eventually, their breaths quietened.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Magnus asked quietly. He turned his head to meet Alec’s troubled gaze.

“I – I don’t know, Izzy and I were training with Hodge at the Institute all day yesterday,” Alec said, his voice less defensive now, his emotional exhaustion showing on his face. Magnus’ couldn’t stop himself pulling a face at that, which Alec obviously noticed, because he moved a little closer.

“What?” he asked, voice low and serious.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, as gently as he could. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” Alec said, and Magnus’ could feel tears pricking at his eyes now. He breathed out slowly and summoned a weak smile.

“Okay, sweetheart,” he replied, regretting the term of endearment as soon as it slipped out as the trapped look resurfaced on Alec’s face. “Someone’s been playing with your memories. I need to use my magic to work out how to fix it.”

“Well now I know you’re lying about being my boyfriend,” Alec said, but the fire had gone out of his tone. “You’re a downworlder.”

Magnus looked up at the ceiling.  “Yes, Alexander,” he said quietly. “I am a downworlder. The High Warlock of Brooklyn, in fact. I am also your boyfriend.”

Something in his voice must have betrayed his misery, because Alec slowly, tentatively, sat down on the bed beside him. Magnus looked into those eyes he knew so well.

“You’re Magnus Bane,” said Alec. “Huh. Well, I can see why I would go for you, so. There’s that.”

Magnus couldn’t help the huff of laughter that escaped him at that.

“Thank you, Alexander.”

 “My parents must have been _pissed_ , though.”

 “They were, at first,” he said. “They came around eventually.”

There was a pause, and then Alec spoke again, his voice soft in the quiet of the apartment.

“You swear this is all true?”

Magnus nodded, hoping Alec would be able to read his sincerity on his face. “I swear.”

Alec took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“Okay,” he said. “I don’t know why, but…I trust you.”

Magnus’ brow cleared as relief swept through him. He swallowed and nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. Then an idea occurred to him.

“Call Izzy,” he said suddenly. “Ask her about me. Then you’ll know for sure.”

Alec nodded, eyes scanning the room until he located his phone. He opened it, blinking at the lock screen photo. It was a selfie of the two of them, from a trip they’d taken to Morocco two weeks ago on a whim. Magnus was grinning at the camera, and Alec was pressing a kiss to his cheek. It was an intimate photo, somehow, despite the chasteness of the kiss. They had been so relaxed, felt so free, listening to the call the prayer from a terrace overlooking the bustling marketplace. Magnus smiled sadly, looking at it now.  

The Alec sitting next to him on the bed stared at it for a long moment. Then he switched his phone off again.

“I don’t think that’s going to be necessary,” he said.

 

* * *

 

“Well, that was quite the tale,” the younger version of Magnus said, sitting across from Alec on the sofa. “I must say, I liked the part where you kissed me at the wedding in particular. Very dramatic.” He waggled his eyebrows to illustrate his appreciation.

Alec smiled a little. It was torture to have Magnus so close to him, physically, but with all of their comfortable intimacy ripped away. Even the Chairman’s aloof avoidance of him had stung, when he’d trotted into the living room to nudge at Magnus’ leg. That cat was meant to adore him, dammit. He’d spent long enough slipping him cat treats to build up their friendship.

“And since you say that your sister has no memory of me, it seems clear that it is your mind that has been toyed with, rather than mine,” Magnus continued, smiling sympathetically as Alec looked down at his hands.

“Can you fix it?” he asked. “Please tell me you can fix it.”

As a response, Magnus placed his hands on either side of Alec’s head, raising his eyebrows in question before Alec nodded, and his fingers started to move. The familiar sensation of Magnus’ magic flooded Alec’s senses. He could feel its presence in his brain, as though Magnus was tugging gently at a knot of thread suspended behind his eyes. Alec focused on sitting still, even when the sensation turned uncomfortable. He kept his eyes trained on Magnus, who eventually leaned back, frowning.

“Well, that’s inconvenient,” he muttered. “This is faerie magic. Strong, too. Have you done anything to piss of the Seelie Queen, recently?”

At Magnus’ words, Alec closed his eyes, dropping his head back against the sofa with a thud.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” came Magnus’ voice, and Alec nodded slowly.

“Diplomatic mission. Didn’t go too well,” he said. He opened his eyes again to find Magnus looking at him intently. “I should have known this was her doing. I’m normally so careful in her realm, and it was just a routine meeting, but then she started propositioning me, of all things. As if _that_ was ever going to work. Something about “a shadowhunter who can tame a High Warlock is a rarity indeed,” his voice slipped up an octave as he imitated her accent, and Magnus snorted with laughter despite himself. “She wanted to add me to her collection of conquests, or something. And when I told her I was spoken for and very much not interested, she shape-shifted. Into you,” Alec admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “As if I would cheat on you just because she morphed into your body. Honestly.”

“The Seelie Queen is not one to accept rejection with dignity,” Magnus nodded. “Well, at least we know what we are dealing with. The problem is that this might take more power than I have at my disposal to put right. I’ll have to call in some backup.”

“Caterina?” Alec suggested, and Magnus smiled, shaking his head.

“Caterina is at work. Let’s see if Ragnor will pick up.”

Thankfully, Magnus turned away to send the message, not noticing the way Alec’s muscles suddenly stiffened.

 

* * *

 

 

The Alec-who-didn’t-know-him stood up from where he had been sat next to Magnus on the bed.

“I’m really the Head of the Institute?” he asked in disbelief. “In the future? Even though I’m with you?”

“And you’re wonderful at it,” Magnus smiled fondly. “A true leader.”

 A pleased look spread across Alec’s face. “That’s more than I ever dreamed of.”

_I know,_ thought Magnus. _I know everything there is to know about you, my darling._

“I think it’s time to try and undo all this, now,” he said instead. “Set the timelines back on track.”

He wasn’t expecting Alec to pause, open his mouth as if to say something, then close it again. Magnus tilted his head, as Alec sat back down next to him on the bed, a little closer this time.

“Will I remember all of this?” Alec asked, and suddenly he seemed so vulnerable that Magnus wanted to gather him into his arms and hold him tight. He shook his head, and Alec’s face fell.

“I’ll need to erase it to preserve the timeline,” Magnus said, not unkindly. “Playing with time is a messy business.” Alec nodded, clenching his hands into fists the way he always did when he was holding something back.

“Magnus,” Alec began, then he stopped, a red blush appearing on his cheeks.

Magnus waited.

“Can I…” Alec trailed off. “If I’m not going to remember any of this anyway, do you think I could…kiss you?”

Of all the things Alec might have said, Magnus hadn’t been expecting that. A fond smile danced on his lips.

_Oh, Alexander,_ he thought to himself. He’d never been able to refuse this beautiful man.

“Just so I know what I have to look forward to,” Alec said, twisting his fingers nervously.

Magnus leaned in, just a little, until he could feel Alec’s warm breath against his skin. Alec moved forward slowly, gently, closing the distance between them and pressing their lips together.

It was chaste and sweet, and Magnus felt Alec’s hand move tentatively to rest on the nape of his neck. After a moment, he drew back. Alec’s eyes were wide, and he was looking at Magnus like he held all the answers to the universe. After a long, tender, moment of silence, Alec seemed to come back to himself, sitting up straighter and blinking a little.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s do this.”

 

* * *

 

But before Magnus had even contacted Ragnor, Alec suddenly stiffened and let out a grunt of surprise. Magnus turned, rushing to crouch at Alec’s eyelevel. Alec caught the look of concern flash across his face before a wave of energy coursed through him and another noise escaped him. He grabbed onto the sofa cushion with both hands, digging his fingers in as the whole room tipped sideways.

“What is it?” Magnus asked, and Alec could hear the urgency in his tone, but his voice sounded far away.

“Magnus?” Alec murmured, “is that you?”

The Magnus crouching in front of him grabbed on to Alec’s shoulders, trying to meet his gaze.

“Yes, I’m right here,” he said, but Alec shook his head.

“The other you,” he managed, before another flash of power surged in his skull. “ _Ow”_

Magnus sucked in a breath and moved his hands so that his fingertips were resting against Alec’s temples.

“The other me,” he said, tone unreadable. “He’s trying to send you back. Well, with the two of us working together, I suppose – “

His words were cut off as Alec whined, arching his neck and clenching his fists even tighter.

“Shhh, it’s all right,” Magnus hushed, his own magic beginning to crackle between his fingers. “This won’t take a moment.”

And suddenly, the bright light of Magnus’ magic behind Alec’s eyes turned blinding, as though a thousand dazzling lightbulbs had been illuminated all at once. Alec could hear his own voice crying out, could feel Magnus’ strength pouring into him. He strained, vaguely aware of the sweat breaking out on his brow. The sensation increased and he gritted his teeth through the pain, which kept on steadily building.

And then, finally, it dissipated, and he slid into the sweet relief of nothingness.

 

* * *

 

 

When Alec opened his eyes again, he found himself lying on golden sheets. He screwed up his face, blinking his eyes open and squinting around the room. He didn’t have to look far. Magnus was right there, and if the look in his eyes hadn’t been proof enough that Alec was back with _his_ Magnus, the elaborate hairstyle sealed the deal.

“Magnus,” he breathed, reaching across to pull his boyfriend to him. Magnus let out a heavy sigh of relief, relaxing into Alec’s chest. “Oh, thank the angel.”

Magnus’ arms wrapped around Alec’s waist. “I missed you,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss into Alec’s neck. Alec’s hands threaded into Magnus’ hair, and he breathed in the heady scent of Magnus’ home-brewed shampoo.

“I missed you too. Let’s never do that again,” he said, and he felt Magnus’s chest move against his own as he laughed. They stayed like that for a while, until Magnus crawled up the bed to reach Alec’s lips with his own. Alec smiled into the kiss, his hands falling to Magnus’ hips, drinking in the physical reassurance that Magnus was here, and that Magnus loved him.

When they broke apart, Alec frowned slightly.

“Do you remember what happened? When I was in the past?” he asked, and Magnus shook his head.

“I had to erase that memory. Otherwise I’d have reacted differently when we did eventually meet. I imagine that past-me was quite enamoured by you, though,” he teased gently, and Alec felt a slow smile spread across his face.

“The Queen went too far this time,” he said, expression settling into something more grim. “That was seriously messed-up.”

Magnus nodded, “it wasn’t that much fun for me either.”

Alec waited for him to elaborate, so he continued, “while you were in the life of seventeen-year old Alec Lightwood, that version of you was here. Still deeply in the closet, of course. It gave him quite the scare when he woke up in bed with me.”

Alec whistled a low note as he exhaled. “Yeah, I can imagine. Wow.”

Magnus nodded, looking a little sad. Alec reached forward to cup his face, and Magnus leaned into the touch instinctively.

“It works out all right for him in the end, you know,” Alec murmured. “He ends up with the most wonderful boyfriend in the world.” Magnus’s lips twitched into a smile, and he leaned forward to kiss Alec gently.

“Thank goodness for happy endings,” he said, then rolled to one side, repositioning himself until he was pressed against Alec’s side. Alec wrapped an arm around Magnus’ shoulders, holding him close.

“Thank goodness,” Alec said in response, and Magnus could hear the smile in his voice.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Malec fic, so please leave me a comment if you enjoyed! I love these two so much, so I'm excited to be contributing to the fandom at last!  
> xox


End file.
